(b) Isn't it easy to confuse Simon Cowell and Simon Callow. (Just the names, obviously. I can tell the people apart.) No? Just me, then.
(c) Having said that, apparently I'm the muscly rich git with the too-high trousers. I keep making comments about the singers, only to have Cowell (or Callow) repeat what I've just said. Nah. They've probably just bugged our living room. That explains it.