Well, it's here...
There is indeed a new washing machine in the kitchen. I haven't tried looking at the instructions yet - too many other things to do, liking taking down
the tent in the living room.
Delivery Bloke wasn't too impressed with the state of our waste pipe. You know, the vertical open one into which you hang the washing machine's outlet pipe. Ours is somewhat loose, and it's holding the mounting bracket up, rather than the other way around.
So I've just tried fixing it, and remembered why it was in such a sad state to begin with. The "wall" is basically plaster at that point, with a vast, cavernous space behind it. Nothing to screw the bracket onto. Sigh. Drill hole. Note suspicious lack of resistance. Insert rawl plug. Watch rawl plug disappear and drop down behind plaster. Sigh.
Mind you, I have extended my sword bag so that it can carry the rapier (through the judicious application of a sharp knife, a sacrificial hockey stick bag, and approximately three miles of duct tape), and gotten a viewing of Flying Daggers
in too, so it hasn't been all bad.