September 3rd, 2006

howler monkey

Reality check

The X Factor has kicked off again. Into the third season now, so questions start to be raised. First and foremost has to be: haven't any of these people seen the show?

Okay, so there's a lot of editing by the production crew. I'd be amazed if they didn't ask everyone the same thing:

  • Tell us about yourself (so if you're any good, we can show what a hard life you've had, and how you're sacrificing so much).
  • Tell us how much you want this (so that if you're rubbish we can show how pathetic you are)
  • Tell us what you'll do with the money (so that if you're annoying we can show you as greedy too)

Because you can tell who'll go through with 95% certainty, based purely on the first five seconds of dialogue from that person. But even so, there are some things you'd think these people would pick up on:

  • Don't dance
  • Don't sing one of your own compositions
  • Don't wear a wacky costume
  • Don't rap
  • Don't say, "But you can fix that". Why would they bother, when the person next to you in the queue can already do it without effort?

And if, by some amazing chance, you do get through, don't then go on to sing some heartbreaking song with a brain-dead Barbie grin plastered across your face.
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